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Release
Sometimes I wonder why? Why am I still here in this world. I mean literally I could have died and yet I am still here. Why? Why am I still here? No one in the world likes me anyway. Why am I still here? Do I really have a purpose in this world? Is there something that I am missing? Not my family and there are no friends, so please tell me why am I here? Because it seems like there is nothing for me to do here on Earth. I am just here wasting my time. There is no one out there for me I am all alone in the world and no one understands me. I just wish that I could be a part of the world and not feel of distant that the wind and the sky and every breath that I take feels like all I have. What is this all about? I am tired of feeling worthless, I am tired of fighting, is my life really worth fighting for? Because it seems as if no one fights for me, it is me against the world.. Maybe I should just let go there is nothing worth living for anyway. Seems like all I have left is my education, nothing more nothing less… I get an education and then I get a job and be successful and then what? I resort to loving material things? Because I will be making so much god damn money that I can have anything that I want except for something with a pulse? Having part of a family that acts like they actually love you and the other 10 people acting like they have no use for you it sucks.
I used to have a really strong relationship with my aunt(I call her my cousin) and now the world has taken it’s turn and we are so far apart that we might as well be two distant countries. I feel like everything that I say and do that I am pissing her off.. I feel like I annoy her to the max. I wish that I could figure out what I am doing wrong so that I could fix it. I wish that she would tell me what I was doing wrong so that I could do better. Fixing things is the only way I know how to keep going, fixing things that are broken. I feel like I am walking on broken glass and everyone is judging me and everything that I say and do is wrong. Why do I have to be the outcast? Why me? I don’t think that my grandpa, step-grandma, cousin/aunt, or cousin/uncle like me. I am just another mouth to feed, another towel to wash, another space taken up in the house, I feel like a waste of time and space.
On top of all that crap one of my closest friends grandmas died and I am useless to her all the way up here in hickville. I need to go home. I can’t be there for her to cry on me and I can’t cry for her because she has no more tears to cry.
I need to come home. Living in hickville isn’t working for me. I need to go back to the city and live for a while I am city sick, not necessarily home sick, I can’t do it anymore…. Fixing the broken pieces seems nearly impossible and I can’t fix things anymore.
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okay so definitely feeling the urge to cry.. no answer to why i feel like this.. well i mean i know why but it is so stupid why i wanna cry.. sometimes i juss need to let go of some tears because i hold on to things and then a rush of emotions come over me like craaazy… but this time it is in the present it is right now and i am dying inside because… just because! BLA life sucks sooooo much
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Blah whatever!
Okay sooo… again life sucks like a BITCH!! but i think its because it is friday the 13th… but u kno i don’t think soo… i think that maybe just maybe it is a coincidence and that kinda sucks… so this one boy he thinks that i like him when the real thing is that i don’t… at least not anymore… i have realized so many things… i realize that in the world today, life is a joke… maybe it’s not life that is a joke maybe it is just me… so many harsh feelings today and almost every day.. sometimes i wish that life could just stop right here and now so that i wouldn’t have to suffer anymore… maybe i am not really suffering!! it is probably because life at the moment is nothing, nothing worth living for! i think that when people don’t say goodbye or when people just ignore u it jus hurts inside!!! maybe some people are fragile, weak and even though they put on a happy face it doesn’t really mean that they are okay… inside they are really hurting, inside they can’t figure out why things happen to them and that they just wish that things would get better… sometimes things can’t get better, sometimes living in the moment is better than never living… some people can only live in the past and thats all that they kno how to do… but moving on is a part of life and sometimes you have to let go of what used to be and accept what is happening now even tho things might not be okay… why can’t life be perfect? why can’t we all be alike so that there is no more whatever! but sometimes that whatever is what kills us and for some people it is what keeps them alive… changing people every day and fake faces… love hate… WHATEVER!
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(Source: weheartit.com, via judy2shoes)
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the me
sometimes I just want to let go and run away and do something… do something useful… maybe cry, yea crying would be great except for the fact that there are no tears that can be shed… life is just a bunch of ifs, buts and maybe.. why can’t there just be a definate answer to life. does he like me do I like him? how do I really feel? I need answer…. why can’t love save the empty? why can’t we show our true emotions when we feel like it and not hide it because we are afraid of what people will think of us… is love really worth waiting for? and is life really worth living?
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nevertakefriendshippersonal:
ineeda-her0:
sawrah:
victoriaaloi:
I <3 this.
^ asdfgfhkjlh <3
okay guys i wasn’t joking when i said i’d reblog this every time i saw it.
this.
(Source: ailesley, via judy2shoes)
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Wowwww…. Haha Tumblr… Haven’t been on here in a wile. I must be hella bored. Oh well nothing to do right now. Bla Bla boring stuff
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kylie509:
Omeee!!!! This room is awsome… I like it because it is Pink
ayegeelicuh:
(via sweethomestyle)
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ayegeelicuh:
(via sweethomestyle)
I like this room. It’s simple. Not much in it (:
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Computer Class
Okay we are in computer class today and we are like arguing about how the teacher is all up in our business…. Whatever tho I think I will stick to tumbling because then the teacher won’t be able to find me…. Haha taylor is sitting next to me again but that is because our seats are assigned next to each other… Man she is like giving me a spelling lesson… She is all u spelled this wrong and you spelled that wrong but whatever… It is good that she knows how to spell because I am really bad at it when I am sick and I am sick right now…. Who cares tho. Okay I am gunna go now so BYE